7 Days of Self Care - Day two: Creating kickass boundaries
The pandemic has affected everyone’s mental wellbeing. As we prepare to recover from lockdowns, and places begin to reopen, it can be challenging to know the right way to emerge from isolation.
Personal boundaries are always important, but during the coronavirus pandemic, they’ve taken on a new necessity.
Whether they're boundaries you set up to make you feel physically safe at this time, or mental and emotional boundaries to help you get the time to recharge, rest and self care, making some clear boundaries is super improtant right now.
Boundaries help us maintain important relationships while allowing us to ask for what we need. They’re an important way to limit the exhaustion of the whole situation.
Having boundaries protects our energy, which helps to prevent us from burning out. By prioritising our mental health, we exercise some control over the way we spend our emotional and mental energy.
How to create boundaries for yourself that protect your energy
What's your comfort zone?
Figure out what you need to feel a sense of security.
Mae a list of what you’re comfortable doing, what gives you anxiety, and what's most important to you.
Before saying yes to something, do your own risk assessment and figure out what you’re comfortable with. Check the data and news, as new information may change your boundaries.
Allow for flexibilty and changing your mind
Healthy boundaries are flexible! We can change them when we need to and let them go when we don't.
The best way to set limits for a life post-pandemic is to be flexible- remeber it’s always our choice and our decision to make boundaries that protect us and those close to us.
Follow this 3 step formula
Explain your need
Offer a solution
Reaffirm appreciation for the relationship
We need to be firm, respectful and direct to let others know about our boundaries, not assholes. Even if you're having a really shit time and want to scream at someone to fuck right off, try and practice some empathy while establishing your needs as well.
And keep your message short, direct, and simple. You do not need to provide further explanation or justification
Some examples of boundaries you may need to consider-
Having an out of office on and only answering emails on work days during work hours
Telling people if you aren't comfortable talking about certain topics or are fatigued by talk of Covid
Deciding to only hug others who wear a mask
Letting people know how they can help you if you are struggling
Letting your family know if you need extra help, support or time out
Not taking on other people's problems if your own cup is empty
Not feeling the urge to respond to texts/ calls/ emails straight away if you are overwhelmed
Letting clients know how they can get in touch, when they can get in touch, and how long it may take you to respond.
Saying no to constant video calls, group chats and phone calls
Walking around the block alone (or with your dog)
Designating time to read uninterupted
Having chill out time to yourself after the kids have gone to bed
Remember that boundaries are a form of self-care, and having them does not make you selfish or mean. It’s an empowering way to say, ‘this is what I need to feel safe when I am with you'.
Setting boundaries doesn’t make you a bad person! Even if it upsets other people, or disappoints others, that's MORE than ok. It’s better to disappoint someone else, than yourself.
You can be understanding of other people’s feelings, but you aren’t responsible for them.
The simple fact is, you deserve time out, you deserve to feel safe, and you deserve respect. Kickass boundaries will help you with that.
At Killer Queen, I love to focus on self love, self care and empowerment as a HUGE part of my brand values.
I bang on quite a lot about self love and self care because I know firsthand how important it is to take care of you- and the vital importance of “filling our own cup” first, before taking care of others.
I'm here to remind you that your life, your energy, your power, your time- has value. It's time to RECLAIM IT.
After months of running on empty and being in survival mode, it's time to love yourself more and begin to THRIVE once again.
I take a bold stand for women owning their throne and reclaiming their confidence, and I want you to come out the other side of this pandemic feeling stronger and more resilient than ever, and royally loving who you are.
Get ready for a dose of radical self love and care. The kind that will hopefully make you feel like you're on top, rather than sinking.
Ready to do this together? Read more articles on self love and empowerment here
Feeling inspired? Want to share your wellnes tips?
Feel free to get in touch with me
At Killer Queen we LOVE and CARE for our community so much- your health, safety and wellbeing is paramount! We truly believe self love needs to be at the forefront of everything we do.
We’re also HUGE believers in rest, setting boundaries and relaxation as integral parts of self-care. We’re throwing hustle culture in the bin and encouraging gentle, mindful work instead of grinding away and burning out. We’d love to encourage you on your journey to truly loving and nourishing yourself from within.
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Want to silence your inner critic and feel like the boss queen you are?
Our FREE self love manifesto is here to help guide you to a more positive mindset of self-love, self-gratitude and self-acceptance.
It’s time to start shining from the inside and telling that negative self talk to shove off!
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