7 Days of Self Care - Day seven: The power of self compassion and positive self talk
A HUGE aspect of self-care is the "self" part, and that includes how you view and talk to yourself.
Today, I want you check in with yourself and the voice you use to talk to YOU.
Yep. Your self-dialogue. That little voice in your head that is constantly having something to say. When you’re looking in the mirror. When you’re reflecting on a problem or a conversation you’ve had. When you’re reacting to some news. What are you saying to yourself inside? Is it kind and compassionate, or is it neggy and critical?
Check the language you use when talking to yourself, and if it's less than kind, and not how you would talk to a cherished friend, you need to change that!
Sometimes we negative self-talk without even realising we’re doing it. Often it’s a subconscious way to push away the discomfort of feeling helpless or out of control. But this often makes things worse.
Try to be conscious of any negativity creeping in. The unkind voices, the words you tell yourself, the voices of others who try to knock you down.
Choose to gift yourself with KINDNESS, and block out the bad stuff for a bit.⠀
Why it's f'ing important
Loving ourselves and believing we are worthy is one of the most radical and fundamentally valuable life lessons we can offer ourselves.
So it's imperative we start learning how to do it right!
Never underestimate the power of positive self-talk. What we say to ourselves, about ourselves, over and over can soon become BELIEFS- and then we begin to form the idea that this belief is our reality.
The only way we're going to get through hard times is with empathy and kindness- starting with yourself! Bashing ourselves up, calling ourselves failures or losers is destructive and self-sabotaging.
Self-compassion is a superpower, start using it! Starting with how we talk to ourselves and the language we use.
How to talk to yourself nicely
You, and YOU alone, have the power to change your inner dialogue to one that lifts you up, rather than one that tears you down.
If you've been talking down to yourself for a while, It might feel weird at first, but keep trying and your brain will learn to adapt to a kinder way.
Appreciate the small tasks you do during the day and remember to tell yourself “good job” — whether it’s a work task, making time for exercise, or keeping your patience with your kids.
Celebrate your daily successes with positive self-talk.
Practice self-compassion, focusing on your strengths
Keeping a folder of positive notes and emails you can reflect back on to lift your mood in the moment
Never underestimate your own intrinsic value or worth. This is the one thing you cannot buy, and nobody else can give to you.
Own the totality of all of your experiences – both good and bad.
Stop blaming yourself when things go wrong- it's not your fault. Blaming ourselves, internalising it, saying to ourselves ‘no wonder that happened, I’m a fuck up', works to fuel our confirmation bias which in turn keeps the negative loop of self-talk going. Cut it off, NOW.
Got the hang of that? Good. Now take it up a notch.
Now that you've got the hang of the whole positive self-talk thang, it's time to step it up a notch and remind yourself on the reg of your awesomeness.
Say to yourself "I will LOVE the shit outta me. Even it makes others uncomfortable".
Celebrate and flaunt all of your positive qualities because that’s what’s going to get keep your positive momentum going. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
Every success, failure,heartbreak, every crappy job you’ve ever had – all of it has shaped you into the person you are today. And that person is a masterpiece.
Nobody else has your unique blend of secret sauce and magic. Or, as Ru Paul says, your Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent!
Remind yourself of this every day.
In a time of great division, conflict and questioning of others' morals and values, we more than ever need to be mindful of being kind to ourselves in order to show compassion and empathy to others.
Our survival depends on it.
At Killer Queen, I love to focus on self love, self care and empowerment as a HUGE part of my brand values.
I bang on quite a lot about self love and self care because I know firsthand how important it is to take care of you- and the vital importance of “filling our own cup” first, before taking care of others.
I'm here to remind you that your life, your energy, your power, your time- has value. It's time to RECLAIM IT.
After months of running on empty and being in survival mode, it's time to love yourself more and begin to THRIVE once again.
I take a bold stand for women owning their throne and reclaiming their confidence, and I want you to come out the other side of this pandemic feeling stronger and more resilient than ever, and royally loving who you are.
Get ready for a dose of radical self love and care. The kind that will hopefully make you feel like you're on top, rather than sinking.
Ready to do this together? Read more articles on self love and empowerment here
Feeling inspired? Want to share your wellnes tips?
Feel free to get in touch with me
At Killer Queen we LOVE and CARE for our community so much- your health, safety and wellbeing is paramount! We truly believe self love needs to be at the forefront of everything we do.
We’re also HUGE believers in rest, setting boundaries and relaxation as integral parts of self-care. We’re throwing hustle culture in the bin and encouraging gentle, mindful work instead of grinding away and burning out. We’d love to encourage you on your journey to truly loving and nourishing yourself from within.